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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

BC Spoof: Panel Jockeys

It's that time of year again. Last year, Jeff Spicoli dropped by and gave us a few chuckles in our Aloha Breeders' Cup interview. This year we have a full panel of horse racing industry types that answer some pretty darn serious questions facing the big event that's ten days away. This year's panel includes Steven Christ, the Governator, Jim Romo, Fred DeHoser, Greg Ravioli, Alex Droptheball and Re-HANA. They'll chime in, as appropriate, while answering some of the hot questions burning within this year's edition of Spoof the Cup.

SpaceMan: So the BC committee made a riveting change to different color saddle cloths this year from the common BC purple, any thoughts on this change?

Greg Ravioli: Well, we met with a group of bloggers/fans last November after the 25th anniversary of the Cup and we figured if we threw 'em a bone they'd probably go away. Success!
Steven Christ: My blog readers will no longer be totally confused now when I show my little Formulator squares for my P6 selections which would have all been purple. Cheers to the Committee!
Fred DeHoser: Rachel Alexandra has my vote for Horse of the Year (HotY).
Jim Romo: Errr.....the clones have prevailed again!
Re-HANA: Horseplayers unite, but how about lowering takeout next time!

SpaceMan: The big question on everyone's mind is will Zenyatta run in the Classic or the Ladies' Classic?

Jim Romo: She's dusted Hot 'n Dusty at least four times, so you know if big Z steps her game up she can win the whole enchilada. J-stew get Simpson on the phone, we can make a show on this take!
Steven Christ: I think I may be playing the P6 at Aqueduct instead. I love the NY tracks, don't you?
The Governator: I've been waiting fellahs to chime een here. I think she will make luggage out of those male horse types. Have you seen my new bill that will save horse racing by the way?Re-HANA: I'm going to go Chris Brown on you, Arnold.
Fred DeHoser: No way Rachel doesn't win HotY.
Alex Droptheball: I'd like to take a moment to note that the Safety and Integrity Alliance has passed at Santa Anita with flying colors....did you know it's the biggest initiative we've had this year?

SpaceMan: So the choice to go to consecutive years on a synthetic surface has been questioned pretty heavily, can you expand on how you will deal with this question (> 1,000 times) in the next 10 days?

Greg Ravioli: Track surface is just one thing, but we'll have gorgeous babes all over the place and Californy is the place ya wanna be!
Steven Christ: Not loadin' up the truck here. Can't handicap it, nope. Just can't. Praying for a carryover at Aqueduct.
Alex Droptheball: You're riding a slippery slope there SpaceMan, be know, Tommy Thompson is one of my bestest buds.
Fred DeHoser: You know who has my vote....
The Governator: We have beautiful weather, beautiful women, the best IOU's and have I mentioned that I'm saving the industry, too?

SpaceMan: So I hear there's going to be a Tweeters' Cup, do you think that'll drum up some attendance with the LA techie types?

Greg Ravioli: I know you'll be there SpaceMan. We are pulling out all of the stops and there's some great grab bag stuff too...
Jim Romo: When in Rome...
Alex Droptheball: I would like to have a few words with you at the Tweet-up and introduce you to Tommy.
Fred DeHoser: I'll be there making some predictions!!
The Governator: Tweeting has been exhilarating for me and I will be there on Friday to meet all my fans and constituents.
Re-HANA: Tweet, schpeet. Repeat after me: Lower takeout. Lower takeout. Lower takeout. If you lower it, the churn will come.
Steven Christ: After viewing that photo shoot, maybe I will be Westward-ho.

SpaceMan: Ok, last question, you've all been great. Moving the Marathon to Friday afternoon? What gives?

Greg Ravioli: Voodoo, SpaceMan, voodoo. Did you see how I lulled everyone to sleep with that one? No petitions to Take Back the Race. No Filly Friday upheavals. Dished up a little change up and wah-lah. Brilliant, eh?
Steven Christ: Hey, what ever happened to the Distaff??
The Governator: In Austria, I climbed many mountains in my youth, the Marathon reminds me of my native land.
Jim Romo: Where is Chrissy Everett when you need her, he'd be a great spokesperson for Friday.
Alex Droptheball: We're just pleased as pudding that the World Series is on the East Coast.

The above interview and characters are fictional, any rebroadcast, retransmission of the above is prohibited. Filed under: Tongue in cheek.



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