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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Total Eclipse of the...

Top 10 Things That Won’t Happen Monday Night

Pletcher! Zenyatta! Blame! Claiborne Farm! It’s the Eclipse Awards from the Fountainebleau Miami Beach Hotel! The excitement is killing me! Ok….it’s time for one of my Top Ten Lists for things that definitely won’t happen Monday night, but we wish they would so it would liven up the annual yawner that is the Eclipse Awards….

10 – LeBron James accidently stops by looking for his 2010 MVP award, even though Kobe beat him by a nose. Take your talents to a different awards ceremony LBJ….

9 – The group pickets the event, racing press asks…”and who are you again?”

8 – Calvin Borel storms the stage looking for Castellano….he’s informed that Javier is not a finalist and bursts a vein in his forehead.

7 – DRF/NTRA Handicapper of the Year and Canadian Brian Troop steals the show, thanks Andy Beyer for all he knows about handicapping (this one actually may happen).

6 – Dominguez rides six winners at the Big A and catches last minute flight from JFK to collect his Eclipse for Outstanding Jockey.

5 – Todd Pletcher wins his fifth Eclipse Award for Outstanding Trainer and thanks his fake twitter account for his new found popularity.

4 – Emcee Kenny Rice tells a number of really funny jokes.

3 – Jess Jackson shows up tipsy and mentions the phrase “always a bridesmaid, eh Jerry?” to Moss causing a free-for-all in the Fountainebleau lobby. Seth Hancock comes to Moss' defense.

2 – Mike Repole announces Uncle Mo’s retirement saying he’s way too valuable at stud to run in the Kentucky Derby……and finally the #1 thing that definitely won’t happen on Monday night….

1 – Blame wins Horse of the Year and a nation rejoices…TVG cuts to Ruidoso Downs.


Ernie said...


Hoping Jess finishes last year's speech before the proceedings begin....

Brian Appleton said...

Wow, you have such an awesome sense of humor, I loved it!! :) I couldn't stop smiling at number 8!

tencentcielo said...

If you substitute "rejoice" with "riot", that could actually happen. :-)

And TVG would cut to Northfield. LOL

EquiSpace said...

E: Received a hit from Kendall-Jackson..LOL.

B: Thanks!

Chris: LOL at Northfield!

Thanks for reading!


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