Tweet Last name: Eva. First name: Bestderbyday.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
That pretty much sums up my day. It was the usual Derby Day around the Space Station, kids running rampant, Tanner Jones (my dog) peeing on the floor due to the excitement in the air, cooked some dogs and sliders for the Space Clan. But what really made the day special was a phone call I received while I was in the middle of a Spic and Span moment (cleaning the floors before the throngs of family members showed up) from the Space Gal's gramma (Helen). Let me explain a few things about Helen. She and I have a special relationship. She only bets on things with me that she can win. She lives in western Pennsylvania and loves to bet with me against her beloved Steelers. She doesn't ever give me points, regardless of the spread, but she'll ask me for points even if the Stillers are underdogs. The end result is that I send her checks on a weekly basis. I'm a sport 'cuz I'm a good grandson-in-law and I love her granddaughter with all my heart. I love the ole' lady's spunk, actually. It has taken me years to gain her approval of me dating and eventually marrying her granddaughter....so here is how it went down...
Early this morning before the clan arrived, Helen (while I'm in mid-cleaning the floor mode) was in a tizzy. You see she lives in a nursing home with belligerent women who love to crush her at every opportunity. It's a cut-throat lifestyle and I've seen it first hand. Apparently there was a horseplayer amongst the 140+ that lives at Helen's nursing home named Gertrude (her name has been changed to protect the innocent) that was spouting about her pick in the OLG Manor Derby Pool. So I asked Helen, "Who does Gertrude like in the Derby?" She said "Gertrude thinks Sidney's Candy is going to win going away and no one in this nursing home is gonna beat her."
So now I'm faced with huge pressure, 'cuz you know what's coming next....I gotta give Gramma the Derby horse. I'm faced with beating a 90 year old blowhard who's pissed off my wife's Gramma. So Helen's telling me, "you know it's gonna be a muddy track, right? And I just can't take Gertrude for another year telling the whole nursing home how she picked the Derby winner again." This is a no-win situation for me. So I tell Helen two words..."Super Saver." It gets quiet on the other end of the phone for about 20 seconds....thinking maybe she's checked out on me, I say "Helen?" She retorts promptly, "Not Lucky?" I'm being had again by a senior citizen. I tell her...."Helen, stay with me here, I really like Super Saver and the only other horse that can beat him is Ice Box." She thanks me and says "I'm with you, Gene, and you better be right." Holy cannoli.
Fast forward ten hours. Helen is the queen of Our Lady of Gambling Manor. She just kicked some major nursing home butt. The phone call comes in. The Space Gal takes it and asks her if she took the Space Man's advice. Winner winner chicken dinner. Much joy in Mudville. Major nursing home beatdown. So basically....Helen > Gertrude. If someone was taking minutes, they would jot down, lots of laughter ensued in the Space Station.
It really didn't matter how much money I made today (!!!!!), I made an old lady's day with a Derby pick she'll never forget. I can't wait til next year's phone call...